How to stay out of Jail

How to Avoid Jail

OK people… it seems like we forgot the rules on how to stay out of jail.  Let’s go over them again.

  1.  Don’t break the law.  Seems sort of obvious, but based on what I’m seeing in the news, needs to be said again.  If you aren’t doing anything wrong, you are going to GREATLY reduce your chances of going to jail.  ’nuff said.
  2. If you choose to break rule #1 (please don’t break rule #1), if you are a millennial, there is a 95% chance that you are videotaping yourself in the act.  There is also a 5% chance you are stealing a go-pro camera to record yourself for next time.  Do NOT upload that video to YouTube..  People love to share videos of idiots (that’s you) and make them go viral.  When criminals go viral, the Police get extra motivated to catch you.  It becomes MUCH easier because… well… it’s on YouTube!  You have helped the police catch you and then the prosecutor can say… don’t believe this guy is an idiot?  Let’s watch the video.

  3. If you do get caught breaking rules #1 or #2, do NOT accuse the cop of committing a crime.  There is a 95% chance that the cop is recording you and a 50% chance that someone else is recording you, hoping to upload it to YouTube and make money off your misery.  Lying about what the cop did and acting like the victim will make things 100% worse!  Think of a traffic ticket as a driving tax, pay it, thank the cop for doing their job and hope they are available when you really need it the most.

Have a great day (and follow rules #1, #2 and #3)!

Aaron Jay Lev

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